Sunday

Monkey See, Monkey Do: Today I saw a human boy and girl playing Thumb Wars. Will try it against a New World primate since it lacks a versatile opposable thumb. Also saw a little ginger boy stick his finger up his nose, so...

 

Monday

My fetching smile tends to lure humans closer to my cage, which became a lot more fun once I learned how to distance-spit between my teeth. Unfortunately, am now on probation after another complaint registered with my cage caretaker today. Not the first projectile-poop-related one, but the corn evidently caused bruising.

 

Tuesday

In a pensive mood today. Have been sitting still enough that a spider wove a web between my ear and elbow. The friend stuck grooming me tonight is pissed. In other news: the Zoo gift shop now sells apparel. I will be sewing XL-length sleeves onto the petite tops and modeling them after store closing hours.

 

Wednesday

Oh, THOSE monkey bars...not what I had in mind. I thought my trainer was taking me on a pub crawl.

 

Thursday

Am not a fan of the zoo's "Animal of the Hour" initiative; those small mammals and reptiles can get so smug. The naked mole rat has been strutting around today like he's all that and a bowl of dried nutrient-rich pellets.

 

Friday

Returning a blank expression to the kid who's faking that he can speak Monkey to me. Self-esteem in human children is overrated anyway. Thought he’d gotten the point, but now he’s turning the tables and challenging me to a staring contest. Thinks he'll throw my game off by shaking a treat at me, but he——damn. Let's make it best two out of three.

 

Saturday

Zookeeper brought in a phonograph and small lamp shades, so we monkeys are tearing it up in the cage to Big Band jazz all weekend. Squirrel monkey already stole my dance partner, though. Why is it males always go for the short, Genus Saimiri ones? Whatever. That little tramp didn’t get to pose for the latest in dishware like I did... It’s the chic curvature of the tail that always gets me noticed.